My painful and terrfying struggle continues...
Since 2001, I have been stalked, humiliated, dehumanized, electronically raped, mentally abused, and terrorized in San Diego, California. I know there is much more that I have been through, but words cannot explain everything. It's too much. I have been stalked by a lot of people, neighbors, people that I know, and strangers. And it is gang stalking[?? 2/26/13...the goddamn labels, mun]]. I cannot... get the support or help that I need because I am already THERE where ever I go, or try to go, or I just lose whatever support I thought I could find because of what is told about me which is not true. And I cannot explain anything because anything that I say is discredited and I am made out to be a flat out liar or a monster and I am neither. I cannot say anything for everything is already tainted by lies. So, from what it looks like, at this point, it doesn't matter what I say, I cannot seek unbiased support.
What is happening to me is illegal and wrong. No one deserves it. No one. It is a matter of losing your life, basically, your freedom. I have not been free for a very very long time. I am constantly watched, 24/7, and my nights are filled with anguish because of the nightmares--they are construed by those who wish me harm. They are referred to as "perps." And these perps make my life a living hell..., nonstop. Sure, I have had brief periods where I have been able to breathe and seemingly enjoy my life with so-called friends, who I know aren't really friends, but they are there, in my life, as "such". So I keep them. I hate the involuntary movements of my limbs and tugging at my body parts too. That hurts. People, especially those who claim to believe in a cause, turn out to be hypocrites because they know what the struggle entails and yet they go ahead and join the mob, when they have no sense of what my struggle truly has been about. The whole story, from beginning to present. I am hurting, but I am strong, a survivor, and I don't deserve this. Trying to beat something out of someone, or get them to say something by force, is not right. Come hell or high water, I am not about to succumb to that. Not because of fear will I give in, nor will I be forced to say something that I know is not true or right. There is a way to do things in this country, and beating the crap out of someone, basically, to get what you want, is not the way to go. Only I know what has happened to me, and I am not about to let anyone shove me, or my struggle, or pain, under the rug, no matter how humiliated they try to make me feel, how belittling the experience might be, or how much pain they put me through or how much pressure I am under. One thing that I really need to stress, and I have been really meaning to pinpoint one of my main perpetrators, is the mental health system in San Diego, particularly, South Bay Guidance Center's Directo[???title, don't know his name/title...2/26/13] . He's a rather young director [????/title?], from what I recall, but he has been one of my main perpatrators in my life, and he---basically calls the shots when it comes to the rest of the perps around me. He has way too much influence, and that is dangerous. I have been through hell because of that place in particular, although there are others. But he will be a thorn on my side forever. There is a lot to be said about the mental health system in San Diego. Way too much. They claim to be the experts. They have a lot to learn. Manipulative SOBs. And they have done, and do, a great deal of damage. I know that I am generalizing here, but from my experience, it is basically the truth. They validate what they want, and they discredit what they don't, and they call that expertise. They can kill someone that way. They take away a voice that needs to be heard, ESPECIALLY, when what is said is entirely TRUE. But oh well, they are indeed the so-called EXPERTS, unfortunately. I feel for those who have to deal with them, and know what I am talking about. Of all the condescending crap....
|Awards||I believe in what I am struggling for because I know that this is the right thing to do. I don't believe that anyone should go through this. NO ONE. I have been threatened, my life has been threatened, and I am not fine with it. Well, I'd rather continue my struggle than succumb to the perps. What bothers me is that they are saying that I will not be the only one, that there will be others. They lied again because those instigating this stated to their followers that there would be no more of this committed against another human being again. I have always known that is a lie, because it doesn't just stop here. What they do grows and spreads and there is no drawing a line anywhere. It's "their call" basically to decide who they stalk and systematically murder, or cause the person to commit suicide, (which is still murder). It has to stop. It doesn't with just one person. It just doesn't. That is not the way it works. This is a crime, albeit a "silent" crime, and it has to STOP. PERIOD. I am not giving up. And, if they should manage to kill someone like me, they can't just sweep it under the rug, and move on with civilized "life". There is something terribly wrong, and it *will* happen again. I am not going to be swept under the rug, my life matters, I matter, and I have been through too much to stop now. I have a voice,and I am standing up for myself, finally, and speaking up. I am made fun of a lot, discredited a lot, right. But I am fighting, surviving, for a reason. I just don't do it to be stubborn. That would be a real waste of time.|
|Start Date||12 years|